I was thinking about the friends from my past, and I was taking a good look at myself.
I will be very upfront, I am the worst person to my friends, I am a person believed that I could be alone all my life, I need the friends that I left behind and I would say "Who needs them, I am strong". I told myself that they did not care, and I hated them so much. But then I realized that it was just life, and some times we lose friends as we move on in life.
Today I was watching The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya and I was thinking about one of my friends from high school, and I found that I miss them, I went the down stairs to my kitchen to get somethings to eat, and I began to think about my friend again, their smile; and I lost it, I cried, I cried because I miss them so much, I am so lonely and I wanted some one talk to; and to listen their ideas and wanted them to hear mine. I stepped outside into the cold air and cried, I was sorry for treating my friends likes crap, for trying to play the strong loner type and being silent about myself.
I am sorry, I want to go back in time and tell them I am sorry, and tell them so much stuff, to not ignore them and always believe that they abandoned me. It was I who abandon them, I want to say I love you guys, I want you to know I want us to be together again even for just a little while, I want to say "I Love you, you mean the world to me, and I want you to know that I will remember you."
I love my friends so much
Mood: Broken up
Music: The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya - Gymnopedies Dai 1-3 ban
Phrase of the day: "There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy" - Dante