Another post that was written and almost never made it to released. I do that with this blog, where I write a lot and never post it for others to read, but I made a promise to myself to post more here, because I know no one will read it.
Today I am going to talk about a game that I have been playing for almost two years now called "Hell Let Loose" on my PS5. It is a World War II FPS multiplayer World War II game, its squad base so there are classes that have different roles to do and can be done, a lot building weather it be a spawn point for your team or bunkers to defend a point, you can even play in a tank that requires three people to operate it. I started it because I had rewatched Saving Private Ryan, my favorite movie, and wanted a game set at that time, but I did NOT want to play Call of Duty, and my friend talked about it all the time so I gave it a try. Months and months later it was a great time, guess because it was new and I had something consistent to play, met some people in the game that were cool and some that were not, but overall I do love it, but it could be frustrating at times. Playing Officer (Sometimes called Squad Lead) is a fun time but I am not always in the mood to play it, and lot of other players play it and they are not as good, weather it be because they do not know how to build a spawn point (an outpost or garrison), or they do but other team mates do help by playing Support and dropping a box.
The game is hard to learn and takes many hours to master, and lately I found myself sometimes having to "fix" a game by building garrisons, but it also means I have to leave what I am doing like playing Anti-Tank or Engineer (my favorite role) and if I don't stay playing Officer, building garrisons, because the Commander cannot be the only one do it, nor should they be, because they are only one player on the board, it is a team effort, but I find myself drained because you do it enough you get not only bored but mad because no one will do it, and some times, lower level player expect the high level players to play such roles. I used to play Commander a lot, I found it fun to play because it can feel good to command an army, to lead it to victory, to think of the game like an RTS game, it is a good time when things are good but everyone expects the Commander to do everything, build every garrison and maybe even a have foresight, on how to win but sometimes it is not possible, which leads to my main point.
There was a game recently, where I had decided I wanted to play Commander, and the game nearly lasted the whole one hour and thirty minutes, and it was depressing game for me because there was only one person who built nodes, things that generate resources to do things that a Commander can do, like bombing runs, supply drops, dropping tanks and other stuff. So I was fighting with my hands tied behind my back so to speak, and I even drove a supply truck for most of the game and dropped supply boxes and drops asking for people to build nodes, but even still no one did. I was not the only building garrisons, there were good Officers that were doing that on the drops I did and had Supporters doing that, but it wasn't enough, we lost and that led to me getting a 10 in a row losing streak as Commander. It was awful. I know I had teams that had high level players that knew what a node was and no one but one person built any for me, so I never had full nine node for the game, and I stopped driving because I kept getting shot out of my truck,, then tried doing things on foot and that was not enough. So we were pushed to the final point, and decided to shift to to prevent us from losing the final point, but I could not do that because I was not fast enough. Normally lot of players blame the Commander for losing the game (All blame and no rewards deal), and in an odd turn, no one did, when I said I was sorry, which made me feel awful, and after the match finally finished, I cried, and that was the first time I ever cried after a game loss. I quit the game server, went to bed and tried to forget and I still have not been able to, but after that game, I feel I am done playing Commander ever again.
I still play Hell Let Loose but I do not play the game in Command Roles anymore, at least not actively. Sometimes I will go Officer and build a garrison here and there, but I will lockdown my squad so I do not have to play with anyone, I refuse to play Commander again, and slowly but surely I am eating away at my fun playing the game. I am not in a clan and I want to keep it that way because it means I can play the game when I feel like it, and when I do not want to. I think that has not made me friends in the game who are in clans here and there, and sometimes I wonder if they do not do "some" things, like building nodes, when they know they are playing against members of their own clan. I don't really believe that but sometimes I do wonder, because the clan members I know that play this game are really good, I speak highly of them and have a lot of respect for them. I guess it all comes from just me, who puts too much into playing Commander, and does not like sitting around not doing anything for the team as Commander, so when I lose, I lose big time.
I also feel the high my level gets the worse I get at playing the game, like my lack of experience was good because I was more bold in that attacks, trying to not still something I know works and be different, now I think I am too set in my plans, and when I try to play unorthodox moves, it blows up in my face. The issue is that this game is played by humans, and humans are flawed, fallible, and just out right incapable of thought, that includes myself.
Video included below is what I consider my personal "Austerlitz".
Sincerely,
Dollow Rlance
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